Responding Well to “Unplanned Exception” Eating

No matter how committed you are to your new eating plan, exceptions (eating “off program”) will happen—that’s just reality. But these exceptions do not have to stall or undermine your weight loss goals if you can avoid two typical pitfalls: 1) rigidly expecting perfection in your eating and then “punishing” yourself for what you deem an “eating mistake,” thus triggering a downward spiral, and/or 2) rationalizing all eating exceptions and making them too often.

To avoid these pitfalls, you have to, in essence, learn how to “do eating exceptions well.” Think about learning to ice skate—the first thing taught is how to fall the right way. This is done because people learning to ice skate fall repeatedly, and they need to learn to do it without hurting themselves. Similarly, you must prepare for inevitable eating “falls” and learn to do them without hurting your long-term goal of sustained weight loss.

To do this, we suggest a twofold approach: 1) use “planned exceptions” to your advantage, whereby you consciously make choices ahead of time to make an occasional eating exception, thus controlling the size and frequency of eating exceptions, and 2) develop strategies for how to respond to in-the-moment, unplanned eating exceptions so you can bounce right back onto program eating. This exercise is designed to help you bounce back and stay on track after unplanned eating exceptions.

The first step in responding better to unplanned eating exceptions is to recognize that they will happen and to set realistic goals around them. Many resist this notion, expect perfec tion, view any exception as a “mistake” and afterward punish themselves with destructive self-flagellation or increased exception eating.

The goal, then, is not to eliminate eating exceptions outright (that’s simply unrealistic), but instead to:

• Accept that unplanned exceptions will happen sometimes, even when your resolve is strong.
• Reframe eating “mistakes” in your mind as “unplanned exceptions” that you can learn how to manage over time. This reframe is much less judgmental, more forgiving, and hopeful, and thus fosters a mindset more conducive to getting back on track.
• Increase your awareness of what is happening before, during, and after exception eating occurs so you can become more aware of unsupportive thoughts and/or behaviors and can choose to change them.
• Minimize the frequency and amount of unplanned exception eating.

Here is a positive, supportive statement to read or say to yourself every time you have an unplanned eating exception this week. Alternatively, you can write your own. But the critical action is that you consciously practice reframing your response to unplanned exceptions in a non-judgmental, forgiving and hopeful way.

I recognize that slipping occasionally on my eating plan is inevitable, and I realize I can recover from any unplanned eating exception and stay on track. Because I’m approaching this process as a sustainable lifestyle and not as a diet per se, it is important for me to manage my unplanned exceptions when they happen simply as part of life. This mindset is new to me, so I will allow myself time to practice, get better at it, and celebrate my small, incremental “wins” in adopting this new mindset.

For each unplanned eating exception you have this week, record responses to the following prompts, either here or on a separate piece of paper. We encourage you to record them in real time or at the end of each day so you can capture the experience as immediately as possible. Completing these responses may feel contrived or onerous, but trust us—increasing your awareness of the thoughts, feelings, and impact of unplanned exception eating is a critical step in better managing them.

1. What was your unplanned exception?
2. How were you feeling before, during, or after you engaged in exception eating? What triggered that feeling(s)?
3. What were you thinking before, during, or after the exception eating?
4. Did this cause you to make another unplanned exception, or did you get right back on track?
5. Were you able to keep the positive, supportive statement from Part 1 in mind afterward? To what extent was it helpful?

At your next appointment, be prepared to share your answers to Part 2 with your counselor and to discuss these questions:

1. What, if anything, worked well that you can carry over into this coming week?
2. What, if anything, do you need to do differently this coming week?